I am fine! Those sayings are most typical things people told you after you asked the question, “How are you doing?” My question for you, do you really think and believe in what they said? You need to ask yourself!
“I am fine” was widely abused and being misused in conversation! Are you actually “fine” and everything good with you? Are you masking your hurtful feelings, wounded emotional, or incomplete inside your soul?
For years, I thought I fooled those people by telling them how honest I was, how good I was, how cool I was and the list goes on! But, one day, it came to term that I was far dumber than how I had fooled those people. After I learned my inner healing progress, I was told:
- “You’ve got emptiness in your eyes!”
- “You are truly dejected all the time.”
- “You’ve got beautiful smile, but I see you have great pain in yourself.”
And the list goes on.
Through my mind, saying, “Oh really? For many years I had a secret affair! What was my secret affair? My secret affair was BOOZE! I was married to booze. I let my booze define my personal identity and my need. I had went on a joy ride of my life telling those people, “I am fine!” Now I realized my booze had destruction my life. Being an alcoholic, I was living in denial. I was blinded by my booze.
I was living in denial because I thought my reputation was bigger and better. I had believed in false reality from my secret affair with booze! I was given false promise and hope in reality of people who saw me as an ugly soul person, though, I am just good hearted man with beautiful smile.
Then I realized I was being dishonest with myself. How I was dishonest towards those people as my soul was screaming for help. There, I started to abused and misused of saying, “I am fine.” I’m actually not fine.
Talking to my close friends, I had to learn to be honest within myself and be accountable of what I was doing. I had to learn to be honest as I learned to tell those people that I am not fine or I am not okay, but I had to manage to make it through.
I asked myself, am I really okay inside my soul where there’s still full of pain? Am I still hiding my own pain because I value my reputation and my self-pride? Am I value with my reputation because of my career, being popular within the local and national community? Am I value with my friendship that my fear would be affected? And the list goes on.
It is no wonder why Jesus have called Satan, the father of lies where we believe in false reality that we thought we will be okay when we are not okay.
“He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies.” ~John 8:44(b) (New Living Translation)
Speaking of Satan as a murderer, it is symbolizing how he wanted us to live in false reality and allow our soul be destroyed before we understand the true reality. We are led to believe that we need to defend our withered soul from unseen fear. This would threaten our life. Fear itself is actually is from Satan. When we are living in fear, in reality the fear means:
My question is, are you really fine? Are you living in false reality? Are your thought of improving in your life is better when it is not? Little we did realized that we begin our progress of deconstructing our false reality would bring blessing in our life. It is no wonder why Jesus emphasized us and said:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” ~Matthew 5:3 (English Standard Version)
One thing I can assure you is no matter what you are going through after deconstruction stage, God will be with you all the way and promise you He will never leave you.
“I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” ~Hebrews 13:5(b) (New Living Translation)
So we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?”~Hebrews 13:6 (New Living Translation)
Are you fine? You could be living in fault reality.