God do not call me CRAZY!

Being Christian means I follow Jesus not how people defines who I am in God’s eyes.

Christians are suppose to give comforting and encouraging words.

Did they?  They breeds more bullying, unlovable and hatred words.

Did God told them?  Did Jesus breeds the words that goes against the worthy and unique of humankind?

No He did not!

Simply he came on earth to touch those wounded heart with His an AMAZING LOVE!

Many Christians failed to follow His example of touching those wounded hearts.

Am I crazy?  Am I being cursed by God because of living with mental illness since I was diagnosed with Manic-Depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder!

Jesus sat down and gave me warm words:

I understand you and I love you.

It is what was spoke to my heart.

What happen to today’s churches, they are too busy trying to say how much God bless them and attempt to “savory” others about how good pastor of the church is! Aren’t church suppose to be place for wounded souls where there are plenty of love, grace, kindness, compassion, and mercy toward those are are much unfortunate people!

Dealt in deadly battle with alcoholism, mental illness, and unsafe behavior pattern have left me become less and less worth in presence of people.  They are busy saying bad things about me.  They tried to tell me:

Stop drinking too much!
You are always drunk!
You are hurting others too much!
You are sick man!
What’s wrong with you!?!?!

List going on, are there any loving and comforting words involved? NONE, however there are very few Christian friends took their time to try understand me.  I said again…VERY FEW of them!

What church failed to see what Peter and John did with one man who is trying to find something in his own soul:

One day Peter and John went to the Temple at three o’clock, the time set each day for the afternoon prayer service.  There, at the Temple gate called Beautiful Gate, was a man who had been crippled all his life. Every day he was carried to this gate to beg for money from the people going into the Temple.   The man saw Peter and John going into the Temple and asked them for money.  Peter and John looked straight at him and said, “Look at us!”  The man looked at them, thinking they were going to give him some money.  But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold, but I do have something else I can give you. By the power of Jesus Christ from Nazareth, stand up and walk!”  Then Peter took the man’s right hand and lifted him up. Immediately the man’s feet and ankles became strong.  He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk. He went into the Temple with them, walking and jumping and praising God.  All the people recognized him as the crippled man who always sat by the Beautiful Gate begging for money. Now they saw this same man walking and praising God, and they were amazed. They wondered how this could happen. ~ Acts 3:1-10 (NCV)

Did you see how Peter and John handled the situation, they was very determined to look at this man’s wounded soul than to enable him in do whatever he wants to do with money if he was offered with money.

Did church follow the example of Peter and John?  Frankly, I would say VERY FEW of them until you PROVE ME WRONG!

I admit I always thought I was sickening man who have been living with addiction in alcoholism and been engaged in many unsafe behavior.  I always blamed on myself as I thought to myself I am worthless, evil, and useless person.  It is because I took the definition of my identity from those society even church.  I was hopeless human being who have been extremely exhausted in fighting to try do good things but always goes wrong way.  All of those I felt that way in 2012 and I was fighting for my own life.

My stay at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary have taught me something where I never learned in past, God is very gracious and loving God who wanted to take care of me.  I was given verse:

“The Lord your God is with you;
    the mighty One will save you.
He will rejoice over you.
    You will rest in his love;
    he will sing and be joyful about you.”~ Zephaniah 3:17 (NCV)

Did God calls me crazy?  HECK NO!  God is madly in love with me!  I am His worthy and unique child!

Christians need to take example what Jesus did to wounded hearts with gentle words filled with love and kindness.  Unfortunately, they are busy saying bad things and how they rebelled against God even would say how crazy we are!

You have NO idea what I went through and the origin behind of my battle with alcoholism also what engaged me into many unsafe behavioral pattern.   You need to learn to listen to their wounded hearts which is filled with unbearable and unspoken pain in their soul.

LEARN to LISTEN to them and UNDERSTAND them.

It is what Jesus wanted you to do….

Show empathy, be compassionate, be gracious, and be lovable toward them!





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