Are you Forgiving (or Prefers Tormenting) Yourself?


Nothing can make your life better and be at peace until you understand the true purpose of forgiveness.  The opposite of forgiveness is bitterness.

Are you being in prison of bitterness?

Are you anger at yourself?

Do you blame yourself for allowing yourself into a situation you are supposed not to be there?

Do you spend most of your life blaming others for making who you are?

Do you blame others for poor choices and decisions?

List going on!

In the season finale of Arrow Season Five, Slade Wilson aka Deathstroke made unbelievable return!  Yes, believe it or not!  It blows me away!

If you are unfamiliar with Deathstroke, he was one of anti-heroes/villains in the DC Comics Universe.  He first appeared in DC Comics in New Teen Titans issue number two in 1980. In Arrow TV Series, he first appeared in season one and played a large role in season two.  He is responsible for death of mother of Oliver Queen aka Arrow!  Really?  Yes!  He killed her!  It occurred in Season two episode number twenty.  It happened in front of Oliver Queen and his sister Thea Queen.

In season one, before Slade Wilson became Deathstroke he was allied and mentor for Oliver Queen in the flashback story before he became Arrow until the specific incident had truly enraged Slade (he was injected with an experimental Mirakuru serum after a near-fatal accident).   Slade was assumed to be dead, but later returned in season two in blood lust quest in seeking to destroy Arrow because what he did on an island in flashback story.  He was still injected with Mirakuru serum which turned him in different person.  It’s where he killed Arrow’s mother.  It’s a story of war between Arrow and Deathstroke.

Things changed between them because Deathstroke is no longer injected with Mirakuru serum because it’s worn out already and he’s back to his normal self.   He was kept in prison for years before Arrow came and seek his assistance.

One scene blew me off (Deathstroke knew he took responsibility for what he did to Arrow’s mother and did unfortunate damage to Arrow)…

Something made the difference between Arrow and Deathstroke:

Arrow: My past is coming back to haunt me.

Deathstroke: Seems to be a recurring theme with you, kid.

Arrow: Don’t know why.

Deathstroke: Well, it’s not really that complicated. You suffer from survivor’s guilt. You can’t get over the death of your father.

Arrow: Adrian Chase has nothing to do with my father.

Deathstroke: Kid, when it comes to you, everything has to do with your father. You and I are not dissimilar. We are both haunted by our pasts, and the only way to bury that ghost is by forgiving yourself.

Arrow: Forgiving myself for what?

Deathstroke: You blame yourself for your father’s suicide and everything else that has gone wrong since. You need to forgive yourself for your sins.

Arrow: You say that like it’s easy.

Deathstroke: It’s the hardest thing in this world.

Are you willing to forgive yourself for what you did to others no matter how serious it is! If refuse, then you are tormenting yourself!  You will let the past control you when you “rewind” your own life in the past.

I have heard countless statements from those who are tormenting themselves up as they said:

I should not…..

I wish I could do something…

I am dumb for getting myself in this kind situation…

Why did I put myself in this position where I knew it is wrong…

List going on!

All of those statements are putting yourself in a prison of bitterness!

One of my dear friends who I have been associated with at an alcoholic anonymous meeting and he used to tell me with very sharp and blunt statement (He told me in 2014):

If you look in past, then it is game over!  It is like trying to tell a horse to ride backward! 

He was right and I realized I have to move on so you need to do the same thing!  It is because I was having hard of letting go of one specific situation!

Jesus said forgiveness is central to spiritual growth and it will bring peace and new insight in the presence of God.

Bitterness is very dangerous!  It was spoken louder in the book of Hebrews as it said:

 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. ~Hebrews 12:15 (NLT)

So do not let your bitterness become poisonous and virus upon others, if you do then you will create negative vibes upon others and it will do much more damage than you think!

Forgiving yourself is one of most painful things you can do before you finally can move on, TRUST ME I have been there, I always hated myself for what I did to my former wife (my first marriage) and those people who been dear to me.  I was never proud of what I did in the past, but I finally learn to find true peace in Jesus so I had to forgive myself and I can truly love myself for who I am.  It is because God made who I am.   God does not define who I am by past because I am redeemed by Jesus so I am making as brand new in God’s eyes as I am His child!

If you are still angered about the past, and please think for a moment how much your anger affects your family members, friends, or co-workers and did you see any difference? Think about it.  So therefore do not let the past haunt you instead let it be your lessons so you can make a bright future with the eyes of God!

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